Don't be Nice..

You’re the go-to person, the reliable one, the “nice” individual who’s always there to lend a hand, a shoulder, or even your last ounce of patience. Sounds noble, right?

But let’s peel back the layers of this seemingly virtuous persona and reveal the bitter truth: being nice isn’t always nice for you.

Reality

I’ve lived this reality. I’ve been that invisible cog in the social machine, only remembered when they need an eleventh-hour pep talk. Need someone to pick up your slack at work? I’m your girl. A friend’s existential crisis at 2 a.m.? Sure, let me put on my therapist hat.

But the moment I need a little support—a sprinkle of validation, a teaspoon of empathy—crickets. Oh, wait, no…there’s the sound of excuses and awkward subject changes.

Let’s not forget the truly delightful moment when your efforts are misconstrued. You’ve gone above and beyond, wearing yourself thin to ensure someone else’s happiness, only to find yourself cast as the villain. How dare you remind them of your sacrifices! How self-centered of you!

The irony is that the “nice” person often becomes a pushover. People start expecting you to be their safety net—every single time. Miss a single leap, and suddenly, you’re unreliable. When did “always” become the benchmark? Yet, you keep doing it. Why? Because deep down, you crave that fleeting moment of appreciation, that validation that your efforts mean something to someone.

Being “nice” often feels like You’re applauded in whispers and criticized in surround sound. After all, people rarely question the reliability of their favorite cushion.

That’s right—you’re the cushion: soft, supportive, and overlooked until they hit a hard patch.

Solutions

So, what’s the solution? It’s not about flipping a switch and becoming a hardened rude person.

 It’s about balance. It’s about realizing that being nice doesn’t mean being a doormat. You’re allowed to set boundaries, say “NO,” and demand reciprocity. A relationship—whether professional, personal, or platonic—should never be a one-way street.

Now, I’m not saying stop being kind. Kindness is a superpower. But kindness and niceness are not synonymous. The former comes from strength; the latter often stems from fear—fear of rejection, of being deemed unworthy. Kindness respects others and yourself.

Let’s stop equating our value with how much we’re willing to endure.